well well well been like a whole year since i've been on here, lots going on now :)
The biggest thing would have to be my son, who was born March 14 2006. he's such a peach!and motherhood is nothing of what i thought it would be...it's so much more. well i'm currently getting an account on myspace atm so look me up there :)

And darn you all for the quizes!!!

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to dress well and take care of him / herself.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Your Love Style is Pragma

You believe love is logical - or at least it should be You've thought a lot about what you want from someone And to say you have a checklist would be an understatement You may even have a plan for how you will fall in love All you've got to do is meet the perfect person!

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die in a duel.

hmm a duel....heh...

well that's enough for me...maybe more later... ;)

Well it's been a very long time since i've posted...been so busy with so many things in my life and figuring everything out...but i feel that at this piont where i am now is a good way to get rid of a few things....:

Keith- so many things....long history, but you screwed it up, was nice running into you, but yet again..there is nothing there, i hope you grow up and finally do the things you've always dreamed about.

Scott- f*** you

Joey- well...heh, i still love hearing from you ^ ^ but thats the way it seems that it will always be :) but just keep me smiling k

Ryan- well i don't know really what to say here....i'm sorry i guess would be the best thing, but yet it does no justice, i hope i didn't mess anything up, and i did have a wonderful time..it just didn't feel right...think it was on my side the whole too fast for me thing..i don't know, but again i'm sorry.

Joseph- you make me happy...so happy that i don't know what to do with myself at times...the things that i would be so grossed out by, you make me laugh at them...the times i'm scared, you show me the other side of it to make me less frightened. you are genuine and nice to everyone we meet, yet you always go one step out of you way for me just to make sure that i know that i'm special to you, thank you!


well reguardless of my stance now, i feel 10 times better getting that out to the right people (granted i'm doing this over this thing instead of in person, but it's a start for me...i have a hard time talking face to face over serious issues...and i'm trying to work on it!!) call it what you will...this is a step for me and an avenue for me to get my problems out (scince i think to fast for my hand to actually write it down, typing is sooooo much faster)

well other than that...my life has been filled with work, work and more work.....well i should be off now....i'll post more later on

Yeah, been you know celebrating the damn christmas...bah heh...oh well i'm tired and feeling kinda down lately, don't know quite whats nagging at the back of my head...but somethings there..just can't place my finger on it. It feels like something is wrong and i hate that feeling.

well i just wanted to post a bit, going to be soo busy with holiday stuff i'm likely to not survive it heh...
well anywho
Merry Christmas everyone :)

Wow, it's been quite a long time since i've written, well alot has happened. I've thought and thought that i would want to get out of where i live, but where i go i just want to be back home...maybe it's a security issue..i have no clue and i've started to give up on psycho-analyzing myself hehe oh well.
So i move out on february 1st..shall be interesting living with two guys....but hell i'm over there most of the time...i should get paid to listen to thier bitching and moaning about the female race blah blah blah...heh so i'm not paying the same rent lol oh well
so work has been very slow as of late...not sure why...the weekends are a headache..but during the week...heh kat and i just sit on the bench looking at other people's hair going wow..she needs a color..or wow..who the hell cut his hair, well i guess we could be meaner...but it's the first thing i see on anyone lol
ok well i'm starting to ramble and i'm tired...i need to find some sleep, but it's cold and i'm lonely...hmm heating blankets are the best heh

tata for now

I'm back :)

Vacation countdown : 2 days...

so yeah..leaving very soon..but of course i have the worst cold EVER!! i've been so sick and just miserable i better be well before i leave or i'm just going to cut my nose off...

well this one is going to be short since i can't even think of anything to type at allbecause i'm so high on cold meds and just the excitement of heading out there :)

so Guten nacht !

Vacation count down: 9 days

so yeah i have taken on way too many tasks at hand and only a few days left before i'm gone *sigh* i need a twin or something....

and yet again, we are losing peole at work..i'm not working more hours....infact if i get too much more stressy, i'll quit and work retail or something till i leave here...i just can't take it sometimes.

So yeah..my cellphone bit it today..well not quite...i just put a spending limit on it so i wont rack up like a $500 phone bill..yet my bill isn't due for a week....and yet they tack on the next months bill on top of that one and yes..that's over my limit...damn company... oh well what ya going to do?

I finally cleaned my purse out today...i shoulda just boughten a new one..heh oh and oh yeah i got back to having more FF games...been having the weirdest cravings to play em

well i'm in need of some sleep, badly till later

Trip update: 15 days and counting
I'm already overwhelmed with a multitude of things to do, pack, make sure i have everything etc.etc.. oh well
and i finnally found someone to bring me to the airport oh about 6am here heh...yeah someone besides me is going to be stupid enough to wake up early lol
but i figured i'd update...and a little song from VAST that is stuck in my head :)


your dress looks good on you my love
and your house looks like it's heaven
why are there
so many people outside of it
everything you have will be

you can't take anything with you,
except the love
the love i have for you

your eyes look like they're from god
and your face
looks like it's from god

why are you?
going to be
outside eternity
everything we know will be

Finnally i get to have a day off from work...and right now my space bar key is sticking so now i'm getting mad at it...

ok all better, so as i was saying...finnally getting day off from work i have a little list of somethings to do:
tattoo
piercings (big maybe on this one...)
lunch w/Kimmi
eye appointment (since i missed the one i had last week...oopps)
tabletop

and to mix with all that, i have laundry and getting my car inspected and my new liscence photo ick...yeah sounds like a fun and full day huh

so today was interesting, I'm not quite sure what to think of certain things that are going on in my life...but so many right now are very very good and my emotions are ready to explode all in one and yet i remain peaceful and forever complacent in my surroundings....for now...

so I was thinking about going back to college the other day...Biology of all things...i'm concidering it very much...but it just keeps dawning on me that i can do anything...anything i want to do...i guess that's a good thing....but then again..here i am 24 and just barely relizing this...is that normal?

so i will end todays rantings with....with...nothing but sleep

Happy belated Birthday to me yay...yeah, very uneventful, i was actually bymyself the whole day...well i was working blah blah and then i went home to an empty house and ate a pint of icecream and all the rest of the cake i had...yeah..it was bad

well 3 weeks till i go on another vacation...it will be good!! :)

While i was in a deep conversation tonight, one of my dear friends was going on and on about this particular way of thinking...it's still sitting in my brain to this second...not quite unsettling, but very indepth....just makes you think and wonder,
Everyone is given something, a lifetime of choices.
it just goes more and more into a never ending circle of thought in my head.
Just like everyone else out there to ponder it for a minute or two.

So, it's been quite sometime...been so busy with getting ready for my next big trip and tons of other things to mention. Work has been going really slow and annoying since we are short staffed again..i'm almost happy that i want to go someplace new and start over in the job department.
oh well
guess it's time for me to go to bed
more to come when i don't feel baraged with the 'zzzz's

Do you feel like I do
Tired of everything?
Can you feel what I can
Almost everything?

I wanna leave today
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you
So we can build a perfect garden

The stars are far away
I can see them with my eyes
I watch then burn away
Like the moments of my life

I wanna leave today
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you
So we can build a desert garden

MMmm...
MMmm...

The stars are far away
I can see them with my eyes
I watch them fade away
Like the moments of my life

Strange how the houses look
Exactly all the same
And you're just a slave like me
At least I know it's true

I wanna leave today
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you
So we can build a desert garden

The stars are far away
I can see them in my eyes
We watch them fade away
Like the moments of my life

*smiles*

TIEF ATME DURCH
ES IST ERLAUBT ZU GENIESSEN
SEI OHNE FURCHT
WERDE FAST TAUB

NICHT WAHRZUNEHMEN - ES ZU ERLEBEN
DICH BEGEHREN HEISST DIR VERGEBEN
LIEBE IST RAUB

HALT MICH FEST
LASS NIE LOS
EINS MIT DIR
GEH NIE FORT

BERUHRE MICH
KUSSE DEN HIMMEL HIER AUF ERDEN
IN MEIN GEHEIMNIS WEIH' ICH DICH EIN
SINN UND SEIN
HEILUNG UND LUST
SEI MEIN LEBEN
SEI UNVERNUNFTIG
BABY SEI MEIN
LASS MICH GLUCKLICH SEIN

---------

BREATHE DEEPLY
IT IS PERMITTED TO ENJOY
BE WITHOUT FEAR
ALMOST LOSE YOUR SENSES

NOT TO PERCEIVE - TO EXPERIENCE
DESIRING YOU IS FORGIVENESS
LOVE IS ROBBERY

HOLD ME FAST
NEVER LET GO
ONE WITH YOU
NEVER GO AWAY

TOUCH ME
KISS THE SKY HERE ON EARTH
I WILL LET YOU IN ON MY SECRET
MEANING AND BEING
CURE AND LUST
BE MY LIFE
BE UNREASONABLE
BABY BE MINE
LET ME BE HAPPY

So i have moved back home....it's been going good so far, you know the usual, a full fridge, your clothes always clean, nothing to be scared to step in you know hehe
but curfews suck lol here i am almost 24 and i have a curfew........ *sigh*
so i'm still deciding on where to go....i need to see other places, need to get out of the more cows than people state...it's driving me nuts....
heh besides, i've been happier than i have been in months... somethings do change for the good...

i pushed enter before i could explainmyself...
well i looked it up....i thought it was going to be bad..but this is almost worse....
now i'm paranoid....arggg

Losing Teeth
Dreams about teeth falling out are quite common and can mean one of two things. The first is to do with having children. (Animals carry their young around with their teeth). This type of dream can be triggered by a number of things.

Approaching menopause and therefore losing the ability to have children
A physical problem leading to an inability to have children
Not feeling capable of raising a child
Your children are ready to 'leave the nest'
Wanting a child but your partner doesn't
The other thing it can indicate is that you are in a situation where you cannot assert yourself. For example, if you work for somebody who is overbearing and your right to be assertive is not catered for.

It's been probably the most pain stanking week to get through this week, haven't slept much and work has been getting busier with each day counting down towards school time...not to mention it's hayfever season and i'm a misserable bitch at times when i have to deal with that...
so I had the weirdest dream last night....it's still disturbs me now....and i know it's a bad omen of some sort..but....i just don't want to think about it....well here it goes...i was in a play production..i had the main part it was all going so well till opening night, my teeth just starting to fall out, not like all of them falling out, but one at a time became loose and i pushed them with my tounge (as most people do when mouth pain is happening..why is that?) and they just kept coming out...the taste of blood is something that still is burnt into my brain and it seemed to be almost everyother tooth in my mouth, i cried and cried and wouldn't smile, people were laughing at me...the whole nine yards of humiliation...i remember waking up this morning freaking out and looking in the mirror to check....i'm still not all that ok with it....
well anywho...i think i might take another nap..not sure...i called in sick to my other job due to me not sleeping and look..i can't sleep....*sigh* it's a never ending battle...i need a 2x4